We’re on a Boat

The mojitos in Miami certainly have a way of sneaking up on you. They taste so light and sweet and innocent, but when you wake up the next morning you learn they have a darker side begging you to drink a triple shot of espresso stat–even though the smell of it is currently turning your stomach.

This post is not about the effects of one too many mojitos, however, so let me digress.

Yesterday was spent in the great company of one of Matt’s colleague’s wives. This is her first time in Miami and my second, so we decided to stick to touristy activities, starting with the Bayside Marketplace.

Bayside Marketplace is an open-air shopping mall located on, well the bay. Long halls lined with chain stories, such as Victoria’s Secret and Express, are divided in the middle with kiosks run by people hawking goods every tourist needs–such as sunglasses and selfie sticks. The area is sprinkled both major chain restaurants (Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. and Hard Rock Café) and independent booths selling fresh juice, smoothies and pastries. A massive banyan tree sits in the middle of the marketplace, begging passersby to take silly photos.

We meandered through the mall a bit before making our way down to the docks, which were lined with travel companies pushing cruises and water excursions. A guy working with Island Queen Cruises came up to us and worked his salesman magic to convince us we needed to book a trip with them–and he said he’d sweeten the deal if we booked more than one excursion. We discussed for a moment but decided we should just go for it. Our husbands would be in meetings all day the next couple of days and we needed something to do, so we opted for a Millionaire’s Row Cruise and tour of the Everglades (and it was much cheaper than a spa day–you’re welcome, Matt!).

Our boat, the Island Lady.
Our boat, the Island Lady.

Our first excursion was the Millionaire’s Row Cruise, which is an hour and a half narrated jaunt around the bay. We sailed past the cruise port and the western side of Miami Beach to a series of man-made islands in the middle of the harbor. These islands are home to the rich and famous, but if you have a cool couple hundred million, you could live there too.

Your neighbors would include one of the Real Housewives of Miami.

Home of Lisa Hochstein getting some major renovations.

You’d be surrounded by the glamor of bygone eras.

Elizabeth Taylor home
Elizabeth Taylor’s former mansion. Michael Jackson gave her the rabbit sculpture reportedly for “jumping from marriage to marriage.”

As well as some of the scandal.

Al Capone's former home.
Al Capone’s former home.

And if you ever needed a boost, the “father of Viagra” would be located right around the corner. He has the largest lot on the island by far. There are all kinds of jokes I could make about that, but I’ll let you run with it in your own head.

Big house thanks to a little blue pill.

As you can tell, the day was pretty overcast, but the rain held for the most part. So, even though it was really hot and muggy, we didn’t walk away with a sunburn.

The cruise was very pleasant and the narrator kept her stories interesting (throwing in a few well-placed jokes that earned chuckles from the passengers). We really enjoyed ourselves and got some great views of the Miami skyline from the harbor.

Miami Skyline

Next up, the Everglades (and far fewer mojitos)!


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